I haven’t been a missionary for long. Just two trips, really. Two trips to Thailand. Two short trips to a place that one learns to love immediately, but doesn’t quite know how to love well, because it’s all so foreign. But one thing I learned while I was over there has more to do with me than anything else. It’s the truth that I live an excessive life. I have an excessive amount of house, an excessive amount of money, an excessive amount of food, an excessive amount of clothing, and the list goes on and on.
I think most every missionary from the U.S. must perhaps struggle with living with excesses when others around the world live happily with so little. It’s not just about giving from our excess (though that’s a big part of it). It’s really about understanding that happiness comes from an inner peace that transcends amounts (whether large or small). It comes from learning that we can live at peace with God and the world around us as long as we remain in Christ and have within us the hope that Christ brings.
I still struggle with feelings of guilt over having so much. I’m sure many who have gone on missionary trips have the same struggle. The question is: will I allow myself to forget about it? Or will I do something? I think the answer largely remains to be seen.
